Journey Share on this recent Full Capricorn Super Moon
My inner Divine Father holding my inner Divine Mother through her grief, pain, remorse, regret, self-betrayal, heart break and so much more this Full Capricorn Moon.
It was June 2010 when we fell pregnant, I took one week, and without speaking to my partner, I decided to terminate. My rationale at the time was firstly my Epilepsy medication – Tegretol. I’d been told since a pre-teen if I ever wanted to have children it would have to be a prepared for and planned pregnancy. Talk about fear mongering.
The secondary and more importantly I felt at the time was I was a heavy binge drinker, and since returning from the UK I enjoyed dabbling with Cocaine sporadically – and had been heavily around and during the time of me falling pregnant, and discovering I was so, six weeks later.
I had made the decision, and when I told my partner, he was relieved. I was shocked at his reaction to be honest. However, anyone who knows me, knows I do not make hard decisions lightly. Never have. It would have been virtually impossible for him to change my mind at the time.
Another week later, and I had the operation.
I remember during that week how calm, centred and just this level of peace within me I had at that time never experienced before. It was magical to be honest, and that week I think I changed my mind over 100 times.
At the end of the day though, my heart felt it best for the baby and it's future, not be born. I remember absolutely everything about that day I attended the surgery.
A week after the operation, I had a drunken mental break down about terminating my baby – and in hindsight, I feel this is truly when my spiritual reawakening began.
I share this preface, because this is what my inner Father has been holding me to face, and work through the waves of since the Moon approached and Transited my Neptune conjunct the Galactic Centre in Sagittarius.
Ever since, I have attempted to do my recordings, for both my YouTube Channel & HighVibe TV , and show up on video and be all up in my DIVINE VIBE however, it felt fake AF if I were to even try and do that – and I can’t fake shit, it’s not in my nature.
Besides, I’d totally be bypassing all this if I were to put a plug on it, just to show up and do videos ect. So instead, I alchemised it into various writings, graphic art videos, audio blogs ect on my website and YouTube channels to support the collective in a way that felt authentic to me and my needs during this time, without bypassing what was screaming for attention within my vessel.
This Full Super Moon showed me, the depths of my love again, and how I have never placed an expiry date on my loyalty or love for people once they’re in my reality.
I have learned that by honouring my own needs, no matter how much the decision has threatened to destroy me, I am rebuilding deep trust with the inner aspects of my Self, at all ages, that have been once ignored, neglected, abused, taken for granted,and dismissed, by others and myself.
Collecting all the versions of me seeking my attention for more love, in my own Women’s Circle and making space and time for them as my Sisters, to share with me directly what they needed and or need from me to feel confident in our relationship again.
This may sound like split personality to some new to my spaces, however, I assure you it is not.
It is a Shamanic technique of which I can only best describe as a, Quantum dimensional fractal visitation.
This type of experience first occurred for me, in 2019 when I was walking with Dancing Earth down to the lake for him to perform my Rebirth Ceremony.
As we asked for an invitation to enter the forest, and was a little ways down the path, I noticed I was being led and followed – I am getting chills writing this for you all now – by the versions of me who were excited and ready to be healed, along with future versions of me who were leading me down the path.
I reassured the stragglers of my children selves, behind me that all is well, it’s safe to keep up.
I remember feeling in this experience, of how natural it was for me to be walking and talking telepathically to these versions of myself.
Toward the end of the ceremony, as I approached and entered the lake, before I submerged myself, every version of myself was on the edge of the mini lake, making more than a half circle, I remember them all being in white dresses (which I thought strange) and it was as though they were floating just above the top of the water.
It was a truly beautiful Ceremony and path altering experience. Dancing Earth is a blessing to my life I shall always love and remember.
I feel to leave this share here for now, as it is a little longer than I thought, and my heart is still aching as I am integrating the medicine from this Astrology and potent Moon which took place in my 7th House.
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Remember, your power awaits you in the simplicity, and your magick is in the ordinary viewed most unordinarily. Through the lens of Heart, Soul and Eye.
I love you.
Thank you for reading.
And thank you for being.
Your presence here is of immeasurable value to the planet at this time.
If you feel called for a Consultation or Session, please see the links under the graphic below.
With love and blessings,
Amanda
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